


half timing, half's luck

by illbethebanksforyourriver



Series: i'm not sure where this is going but i'm glad i'm with you [1]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Past Relationship(s), oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28337256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illbethebanksforyourriver/pseuds/illbethebanksforyourriver
Summary: Prompt: jensoo au where jennie always does her best to be jisoo's secret santa every year since they started being friends. and jisoo never noticed and thought it was just mere coincidence until lisa slipped saying jennie always wanted to be the one to give her those gifts she liked
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Kim Jisoo
Series: i'm not sure where this is going but i'm glad i'm with you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137542
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	half timing, half's luck

“Oh wow. Isn’t this what you’ve been wanting for a while now, Jisoo?” Chaeyoung asked upon seeing the gift that Jisoo just unwrapped. It was a set of vintage vinyls and along with it, a turntable that looked like it cost an arm and a leg. 

Dumbfounded, Jisoo just nodded. She didn’t really know who it came from since she never mentioned her interest in those things to anyone yet. She was still in the process of reading up on how to pick a turntable and all that but whoever got her the gift seemed like they knew her well enough to guess. 

“Huh, guess Jennie went all out this year.” Lisa off-handedly commented as she sat back down nursing another glass of wine. Still deep in thought, Jisoo didn’t really pay her comment much mind until a few minutes later when she seemed to have finally processed what Lisa said.

“What do you mean this year?” she asked the other girl as she moved away from the pile, hands shaking a bit, still trying to make sense of what she just heard. Lisa looked at her and if she wasn’t so curious already, the girl’s reaction definitely made her suspicious. She looked like she saw a ghost with the way her eyes bugged out. 

Chaeyoung, who up till this moment was ooh-ing and aah-ing over the gift, burst out in dismayed laughter. “Really, Chu? You never noticed?” 

“Huh? What’s to notice?” 

Chaeyoung moved to sit beside Lisa and poured another glass of wine for herself. As she was doing so, Lisa recovered enough to answer Jisoo.

“She’s been your Secret Santa every year, Chu.” 

Chaeng, apparently in the mood to annoy her, added, “Correction: She makes sure to be your Secret Santa every year, Chu. But with everything, I’m surprised she still came through this year.” 

“What do you mean? We draw lots to make sure that everyone gets someone else. And what makes you so sure this came from her?” she asked, genuinely gobsmacked.

“Oh my sweet summer child.” Lisa laughed. “Jennie hounds us if she doesn’t get you, Chu.” 

“As for your other question, you’re Kim Jisoo. She’s Jennie Kim. She always comes through for you, Chu. No matter what, or at least that was what the Jennie we knew would have made sure of.” Chae added as she looked around Jisoo’s place. Spotting one of those gifts Jennie got her in the past few years, she started reminiscing. “Remember the time you got that huge ass lamp that we all swore was fugly but you loved anyway?” 

“Oh right, right.” Lisa joined in. “Jennie looked so disgusted when she was wrapping that. She kept talking to herself and we were just laughing at her. “Why does Chu like things like these? This is so embarrassing.” She said as she told us about how shy she got when she went back to the store to ask for that because you told her it’s what you liked.” 

Still in a state of disbelief, Jisoo answered, “ She told me it was useless.” 

The two girls shared a look and told her, “but she got it for you anyway, Chu. She always did.” 

Unable to stop herself from thinking about it deeper, Jisoo asked, “How many times did she switch with you girls?”

“Hmm, twice with me and thrice with Chaeng, I think.” 

“Oh yeah. The first two years, she really did pick you but during the third year, that was when I got you. She didn’t really care if we were gonna switch or she’d buy two gifts, She would bug me and tell me that I could still buy gifts for you too but she just wanted you to get what she got you. She’d even tell me that she’d get me a gift too, as long as I agree to give you what she thought you’d want.” 

“Right, then I picked you the next year and Jen said the same thing to me. She even got me the dance shoes I really wanted just to make sure I’d agree and give you what you wanted that year. I think that was when she got you that fancy camera similar to the one I had. You know? The one you kept bugging me to give you.” 

The other two kept trading stories and Jisoo just sat there trying to take it all in. As she was thinking back to the past Christmases and the gifts she had, her phone rang. 

_ “Hey, love. Merry Christmas.” _

_ “Merry Christmas too, babe. I’ll be heading home in a while. Want anything?”  _

_ “Nah, I just called cause I missed you already.”  _

_ “Aww, I miss you too.”  _

Chaeyoung and Lisa gave her teasing looks then took the phone from her. 

_ “Hey Chu’s babe, we’re taking good care of her, don’t worry!”  _

_ “Hahaha, hey girls, Merry Christmas! Have a blast, alright?”  _

_ “Oh you bet! Can you fetch Chu so she can drink a bit?”  _

_ “You know what, sure. That’s fine with me.”  _

The girls hollered and Jisoo could only shake her head in mock exasperation. They gave her the phone back so she could wrap up the call. 

_ “I guess I’m staying over then?” _

_ “Yep. They seem to have missed you.” _

_ “Yeah, I missed them too.” _

_ “Pick you up tomorrow?” _

_ “Bring breakfast for these knuckleheads please.” _

_ “Sure thing. The usual?” _

_ “You know it.”  _

_ “Alright, love. See you tomorrow?” _

_ “Mmmm.” _

_ “Everything okay?” _

_ “Yeah. Everything’s great. I love you.” _

_ “I love you, Kim Jisoo. Have fun, okay?” _

_ “I will. Thanks, my love.”  _

They dropped the call and Jisoo focused her attention to the two other girls. They seem to be engaged in a conversation of their own so she just kept quiet and tried her best not to eavesdrop but still, she caught some snippets of their conversation. 

“Okay, we shouldn’t have said that.” Chaeyoung said, mildly anxious.

“Yeah, but shit, she deserves to know that.” countered the other one.

A bit cowed, Chaeng replied, “But it wasn’t our secret to tell.”

“Whose is it then? Because our other friend is halfway around the world away from us and the one with us seems to have simultaneously lost and found a piece of herself.” Lisa said hotly. 

Choosing to intervene before it escalates into a full-blown argument between the two, Jisoo cleared her throat. 

“It’s okay, girls. I was just shocked. Like you said earlier, after everything, it is surprising that she still had something for me.” She said trying to wave away the looks of guilt and sadness from the other two. “And besides, now that I think about it, I should have known. I never really mentioned the stuff I wanted to the both of you but every single year, I kept getting them.” 

“Still, it shouldn’t have come from us.” Chaeyoung answered despondently. 

Lisa butted in guiltily, “It’s not your fault, Chaeng. My mouth got ahead of my brain again.” 

“No use crying over what’s done you two. Let’s just enjoy the night. I’m sure she’s fine wherever she is.” was heard as Jisoo made her way back to the stacks of vinyls and decided to browse through the collection instead. 

The other two picked up on her attempt to shake the discovery off and decided to not make it any harder for her by going along with her attempt at distraction so they also proceeded to sit by her and looked through the stack. It was quite a sizable collection and the other two soon realized just how well-curated the set was to fit Jisoo’s taste. They just watched Jisoo continue to look at and hold the discs quite reverently, as if she was being transported away by whatever she was remembering as she continued to marvel at the gifts.

A little while later, she stopped at one specific package. She lifted it up and scanned the songs included in the disc. With a seemingly bittersweet smile, she asked the other two to help her set up the turntable. 

“A dance party, Chu?” Lisa asked carefully.

She shook her head, “No, not really. I just thought it would be a waste to have all these and not listen to any of them.” 

“Why that specific album then?” Chaeyoung pointed out. “There’s a couple others here that caught my eye too, Chu. These discs are rare.” 

“And we can listen to the others later. But, this one first okay?” the older girl insisted.

Lisa saw the disc and let out a small laugh. “Michael Bublé? Really, Chu?” 

“Shush you, there’s one song here I really missed.” 

“Like you miss her?”

“Yah, that’s not fair.” 

“But you do miss her right?”

“Every single day.” 

“What happened to you two, Chu? One moment you were the best of friends and the next thing we knew, Jennie was moving to Paris with no plans of returning.” 

There it was, the elephant in the room they all tried to skirt around but found that they couldn’t. The four of them had been friends for the longest time. Even if it seemed like they broke off in pairs, Lisa with Chaeyoung and Jisoo with Jennie, they still considered each other to be family. 

Chaeyoung went closer to Jisoo and gently wrapped her in a hug. 

“We knew something happened but we didn’t want to pry, Chu. We thought one of you would come to us after some time but it has been a full year and few months and we still know nothing except that Jen dropped off the face of the earth and you’re out here with Seul trying to be okay.” 

Jisoo just leaned into the hug a bit more and sighed, “I guess I do owe the both of you an explanation.”

“You don’t owe us, Chu. We’d appreciate it if we understood things a bit better but only if you’re ready.” Lisa told her as she got the disc and turned to play it. 

The beginning chords of the song started to play and both Chaeyoung and Lisa saw Jisoo close her eyes and let out a smile that they only ever saw grace her face because of something that has to do with Jennie. 

“Did you know she loved this song?” the girl whispered to the room.

“Jennie? Michael Bublé?” Lisa asked in confusion.

“Oh she loved his music. She’d always sing this to me, you know?”

Chaeyoung let out a giggle. “Well, she had eclectic taste in music. One moment she’d be humming Chet Baker then she’d be singing N.E.R.D in the next.” 

“You’re so right.” Jisoo continued with a laugh. “But this song, she really loved it you know? And I grew to love it too.”

“Well, it is a beautiful song.” Chaeng agreed and the three of them moved to settle back on the couch. 

“I haven’t listened to this since she left.” Jisoo confessed. 

The other two stared at each other and with a seeming agreement to push the topic, Lisa asked, “How come?” 

“It was playing when she told me she’s leaving. I came over to her place so excited and all that, but when i got there, she was busy packing her bags.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ “Were you ever gonna tell me, Jen?” Jisoo asked, tears already brimming around her eyes and voice shaking as she tried to stop herself from screaming at her best friend. _

_ Jennie looked at her in shock. “Chu.” That was all she could say. _

_ “10 years, Jennie. 10 years of knowing each other and you’re not even going to tell me that you’re leaving.” _

_ “It’s not like that Chu.” She said, panicking. _

_ Unable to completely stop herself, she exclaimed. “Then what is it? What’s all these?” _

_ Jennie’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I didn’t wanna hurt you Chu. You just got with Seul, you’ve been so happy and I just didn’t want to rain on your parade.”  _

_ “Well guess the fuck what, Jennie Kim. My parade has been sufficiently rained on.”  _

_ She sighed deeply knowing that she couldn’t really stay angry at the other girl.  _

_ “I’m sorry, Chu.” the other girl approached her cautiously. _

_ “When are you leaving?” she coldly replied, pushing forward and starting to help the other fold her clothes yet to be packed. _

_ “The day after tomorrow.”  _

_ “When would you have told me?” _

_ “I don’t know.” _

_ “Bullshit, Jennie.” _

_ “No, Chu. Listen to me. How do you tell the love of your life you’re leaving because you can’t see her happy with somebody else just yet?” she began with fury but losing steam towards the end.  _

_ Recoiling as if she was slapped, Jisoo looked at Jennie gobsmacked. “You love me?”  _

_ With slumped shoulders, the other girl just shrugged. “Funny how life works right? You loved me before I could love you the way you wanted to be loved and now that I love that way, you’re happy and okay. Love turns out to be bullshit that way, I guess. Half’s timing and the other is luck.”  _

_ They both stood there, changed by the revelation of feelings that came too late, trying to figure out how they would salvage the pieces of a friendship so pivotal to their lives. For Jisoo, she’s haunted by what ifs revolving around the past. What if she confessed before, what could have happened? And Jennie? She’s haunted by the moment that passed. What if she didn’t confess? What if she just kept her mouth shut? _

_ “Jen, I don’t know what to say.”  _

_ “You don’t have to say anything, Jisoo. It’s not your fault, you know?”  _

_ “It’s no one’s fault.”  _

_ “Like what you always say, Chu, that’s life. Sucks that it had to be us.”  _

_ “Jen, I don’t want to lose you.”  _

_ “I don’t want that either, Jisoo.”  _

_ “But I have her now.” “But you have her now.” They said simultaneously.  _

_ With that, they shared a bittersweet laugh. They’ve always been so in sync with each other. _

_ “I can’t hurt her like that, Jen. I love her.” _

_ “I know, Jisoo. I’m not asking you to.”  _

**_I'm not surprised, not everything lasts_ **

**_I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track_ **

**_Talk myself in, I talk myself out_ **

**_I get all worked up, then I let myself down_ **

**_I tried so very hard not to lose it_ **

**_I came up with a million excuses_ **

**_I thought, I thought of every possibility_ **

**_And I know someday that it'll all turn out_ **

**_You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out_ **

**_And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get_ **

**_I just haven't met you yet_ **

****

_ “Really, Jen?” _

_ “Yah! it’s my player’s fault.” The other girl tried to joke but it fell flat. “I guess this is how it ends for us for now?”  _

_ “Jen.” Jisoo didn’t really know what to say, it’s all happening too fast. _

_ “Not forever, Chu. Just until I can take it.”  _

_ “But that’s still too long without you.”  _

_ “But it could be longer.”  _

_ “You’re so unfair, Jen.” Jisoo sighed, defeated. _

_ Jennie looked at her and gave her a bittersweet smile. “I know.”  _

_ As the rest of the song played on, they stood there, as if frozen in the moment, knowing that things will change once the serenity of the present is broken. Suddenly, Jennie approached Jisoo with an outstretched hand.  _

_ “Dance with me?” she asked shyly and Jisoo, still whipped for her once love, complied.  _

**_I might have to wait, I'll never give up_ **

**_I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck_ **

**_Wherever you are, whenever it's right_ **

**_You'll come out of nowhere and into my life_ **

_ As they slowly swayed to the tune, Jisoo could see Jennie getting teary-eyed.  _

_ “When the time is right, I’ll be back for you, Chu. I’ll be your Jen again, the Jen who has been with you for the last 10 years.”  _

_ Jisoo could only nod. Here was her best friend, the love she was scared to lose yet ended up losing anyway, promising to return someday and she won’t even dare ask her to stay. She knows Jennie needs this space because it was something she used to wish for when she used to be in love with her.  _

_ “I’ll be waiting for you, Jen. I’m always going to be your Jisoo.”  _

_ “Just not in the way I want you to be now.” Jennie commented, resigned. “Why didn’t you tell me you loved me before?”  _

_ “I thought you wouldn’t love me that way, Jen. I didn’t want you to look at me and tell me you didn’t love me like that.” Jisoo answered softly. “But I’m losing you anyway.” _

_ Jennie took her hand and held it, singing the next few lines to her.  _

**_They say all's fair_ **

**_In love and war_ **

**_But I won't need to fight it_ **

**_We'll get it right and we'll be united_ **

_ “We love each other, Chu. And sooner or later, we’ll find our way back to each other, even if it’s just as friends.” she tried to comfort her as she saw tears starting to make their way through Jisoo’s cheeks. _

_ “You suck.” Jisoo said as she tried to wipe away her tears. “You’re hurting but you’re still making me laugh.”  _

_ Jennie chuckled. “You’re always my first priority, Kim Jisoo. That will never change.” _

_ Jisoo responded with a sad smile as she pulled the other girl closer to envelop her in a hug.  _

_ “I love you, Jennie Kim. You are one of the best things to have ever happened to me.” _

_ Jennie returned the hug and squeezed her even tighter.  _

_ “You’re the best thing that will never be mine, Kim Jisoo. But that’s okay. I’ll be fine. As long as you’re happy and loved, I’ll be happy too.”  _

_ As the song drew to a close, it felt like it was them also bringing closure to this part of their lives together. They just hugged each other as they continued to sway to the music gently.  _

_ When it finally ended, Jisoo closed her eyes, unwilling to see the look on Jennie’s face. She’s sure the other girl would be looking at her with eyes full of love but sadly saying goodbye. However, she forgot that Jennie knew her better than she knows herself sometimes so she was caught off-guard when the other girl chuckled and whispered to her. _

_ “This is not goodbye, Kim Jisoo. This is a see you soon, okay?”  _

_ She nodded repeatedly trying to will her tears away. But then she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead and she could no longer hold back her tears. Jennie gently held her face with one hand and wiped her tears away with the other. _

_ “Don’t cry, Chu. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” the other girl tried to console her despite her own pain.  _

_ They stood there for a while, holding each other and trying to come to terms with everything that would change that night until Jisoo moved and started helping Jennie pack again. They did so quietly and quite morosely but they still moved well together and before they knew it, the packing was done. All the clothes were in suitcases and the other things Jennie held dear were also packed into boxes. Jisoo looked around the room and all that was left were traces of the person who used to live there. It’s quite jarring to see how much was gone and she already misses the girl even before she left but there’s nothing else she can do. _

_ Jennie on the other hand was beginning to be filled with resignation at the thought of their impending goodbye. She didn’t want to leave Chu but she knows it is for the best that she goes away for a while. Jisoo and Seulgi were happy. She knows that they both truly love each other and she doesn’t want to get in the way of that. Like what she told Jisoo, what matters is that she’s happy and if that happiness is with Seulgi then she’d willingly let her go, and so that’s what she’s doing now. _

_ Despite these thoughts, they both know they don’t want to say goodbye just yet. It was just a matter of who would make the first move to try and extend this night a bit more and like clockwork, Jisoo never failed.  _

_ “Dinner?” the older girl offered.  _

_ “Sure.” Jennie smiled in reply. “Kimchi fried rice?” _

_ “I’ll get the fried chicken delivered.” Jisoo laughed and that made Jennie laugh too.  _

_ The rest of the night passed like they always did, with them goofing around and laughing, but this time, it was bittersweet. They both don’t know when this would ever happen again.  _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That’s all that happened that night.” Chu said as she ended her story. To her surprise, she heard the other two sniffling. She turned to look at them and they were crying. Chaeyoung shuffled even closer to give her a hug while Lisa moved to her other side to squeeze her between them. 

“The love you both have for each other will never cease to inspire me, Chu.” said Chaeyoung as she wiped her tears away. She could also feel Lisa nodding her head in agreement from her perch on Jisoo’s shoulder. 

They stayed like that for the rest of the night while listening to some more tunes on the turntable.

A while later, she felt the other two slump asleep next to her. With a small smirk on her face, she moved them to be a bit more comfortable on the couch then she stood up and started cleaning up. 

As she was disposing of the gift wrapping for the vinyls, a small white envelope fell. She picked it up and flipped it over. What she saw made her smile. It was her name, in Jennie’s handwriting. She hurriedly opened the envelope and there it was, her best friend’s note to her.

_ “Chu, _

_ Merry Christmas!  _

_ I’m sorry I couldn’t be there this year but I hope these gifts make you miss me a little less (even though I myself miss you a lot haha kidding or not). I’m sorry it took me this long to reach out to you again but thank you for giving me the chance to do this for me. I really appreciate you and I’m so grateful for everything we’ve shared.  _

_ I know our time in this life was over before it began but maybe in our next lives, we’ll find each other (I’m sure we will, I’ll fight all that I have to just to make that happen) so this is just me saying that in whatever shape or form we become in those future lives, I’m sure that if I didn’t already know you then I just haven’t met you yet. You’re my ride or die, okay? I hope that I’m still yours, even just as friends.  _

_ I don’t know when I’ll be coming home yet but I’m getting better, Chu! (so that may be soon). For now, you can reach me through this number: xxxx-xxx-xxxx. I will keep this short because I hope you’ll text me soon!  _

_ I miss you so much, best friend. We’ve got so much to catch up on so chop! Chop! Text me! Mwah! Bye Chu!!  _

_ Always for you,  _

_ Jendeuk _

_ P.S. Text me soon okay. Please? _

_ P.P.S I’ll be waiting! _

A feeling of warmth spread through Jisoo. Her best friend is back. It’s not like they used to but it’s a start and she’s damn sure she won’t let Jennie be that distant with her again. She hurried back to the sala to grab her phone, entered the number Jennie sent and typed: “Merry Christmas, Jendeukie! Catch up soon?” 

She settled back on a chair and waited with a smile on her face. Half timing, half luck - or so they say, but for Jennie and everything they shared? 

It’s always going to be all love. 


End file.
